**Joe Burrow Expresses Disappointment with Bengals’ Schedule: “I Was Hoping for More Primetime Drama!”**
CINCINNATI, OH – In a shocking turn of events that has left fans and analysts alike scratching their heads, Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow has publicly expressed his disappointment with the team’s 2023 schedule. “I was really hoping for more primetime games,” Burrow lamented during a press conference that was supposed to be about his new line of fashionable headbands. “I mean, who doesn’t want to play under the bright lights? It’s like a fashion show, but with more tackling and fewer runway models.”
Burrow, known for his impeccable style and even more impeccable passing skills, was particularly upset about the lack of games against the New England Patriots. “I wanted to show Tom Brady that I can throw a football and a mean shade at the same time,” he quipped. “But instead, I get to face the Cleveland Browns again. Great. Just what I wanted—more awkward family reunions.”
Fans were quick to rally behind Burrow, with one die-hard supporter, who goes by the name of “BengalBob,” stating, “I just want to see Joe on TV more! I mean, I can only watch so many reruns of ‘The Office’ before I start questioning my life choices.”
In a bizarre twist, Burrow also suggested that the NFL should consider scheduling games based on the players’ social media followings. “If I have more followers than the other quarterback, I should automatically get a primetime slot,” he declared. “It’s only fair! Plus, I could use the extra exposure for my new line of organic kale smoothies.”
As the Bengals prepare for the upcoming season, one thing is clear: Joe Burrow is not just a quarterback; he’s a fashion icon, a social media strategist, and, apparently, a primetime diva. The NFL may want to take notes—after all, who wouldn’t want to watch a game where the quarterback is also a runway model?
