**Inside Trump’s Critical Meeting with House GOP to Secure the ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’**
In a top-secret bunker somewhere beneath the White House, President Donald Trump convened a critical meeting with House GOP members to discuss the much-anticipated “Big, Beautiful Bill.” Sources say the meeting was so exclusive that even the Secret Service had to show their IDs twice—once for entry and once to prove they weren’t just there to steal snacks.
As the meeting commenced, Trump reportedly opened with a rousing speech that included the phrase “big, beautiful” at least 37 times. “This bill is going to be so big, so beautiful, that even my hair will be jealous,” he declared, gesturing dramatically with a stack of papers that may or may not have been a takeout menu from Mar-a-Lago.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who was seen nervously adjusting his tie, chimed in, “We need to make this bill great again! I mean, it’s already great, but we need to add more gold leaf. People love gold!”
Meanwhile, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene suggested that the bill should include a provision for “mandatory fireworks displays every Friday.” “Nothing says fiscal responsibility like a good ol’ firework show,” she insisted, while holding a sparkler like it was a microphone.
As the meeting progressed, Trump’s aides passed around a giant poster board with the words “Bigger is Better” written in glitter. “We’re going to make this bill so big that it’ll need its own zip code,” Trump exclaimed, as he pointed to a drawing of a dollar sign wearing sunglasses.
By the end of the meeting, the GOP members left with a sense of purpose and a new slogan: “If it’s not big and beautiful, we don’t want it!” As they filed out, one aide was overheard saying, “I just hope the bill doesn’t come with a side of ‘covfefe.’”
In the end, the “Big, Beautiful Bill” remains a mystery, but one thing is for sure: it will definitely be big, beautiful, and probably have a few fireworks attached. Stay tuned for updates, or as Trump would say, “It’s going to be YUGE!”
