**Indiana Coroner Criticizes Police for Oversight in Fox Hollow Farm Serial Killer Investigation: “I Thought We Were Playing Clue!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Hoosier state scratching its collective head, Indiana’s coroner, Dr. Mortimer “Morty” McGrave, has publicly criticized local police for their “egregious oversight” in the Fox Hollow Farm serial killer investigation. “I mean, come on! It’s not like we were playing Monopoly here,” McGrave exclaimed at a press conference, while dramatically tossing a handful of plastic game pieces into the air. “This is real life, not Clue! I didn’t sign up to be the coroner for a game of ‘Who Done It?’”
The Fox Hollow Farm case, which has been chilling the bones of Indiana residents since the 1990s, has recently resurfaced in the news after police admitted they may have overlooked a few key pieces of evidence. “We thought the killer was just a really enthusiastic farmer,” said Officer Chuck “The Hoe” McFadden, who was clearly more interested in his vegetable garden than solving crimes. “Turns out, he was actually a serial killer. Who knew?”
Dr. McGrave, who has been known to solve mysteries in his spare time by binge-watching crime dramas, added, “If I can figure out who the murderer is on ‘Murder, She Wrote’ while folding laundry, I expect the police to do better than this!” He then proceeded to pull out a magnifying glass and inspect a nearby corn stalk, declaring, “I found a kernel of truth!”
Local residents have taken to social media to express their disbelief. “I thought we were just dealing with a bad case of corn rust,” tweeted farmer Betty “Corny” McCornface. “Now I’m starting to think my corn is the least of my worries!”
As the investigation continues, Dr. McGrave has offered his services to the police department, suggesting they might benefit from a “Coroner’s Guide to Crime Solving.” “Step one: Don’t ignore the obvious,” he advised. “Step two: If you find a body, maybe don’t just assume it’s a scarecrow!”
In the meantime, the Indiana police are reportedly considering a new strategy: hiring a psychic and a team of raccoons to sniff out clues. “They’re great at finding trash,” Officer McFadden said, “and we’re hoping they can help us find the killer too!”
Stay tuned for more updates on this corn-fusing case!
