**Indiana Executes Second Criminal in 15 Years, Claims “We’re Just Getting Started!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its head, Indiana has executed its second criminal in 15 years for the 2000 murder of police officer, Bob “The Badge” McGuffin. The state, known for its corn and questionable decisions, has decided to ramp up its execution game, claiming they’re “just getting warmed up.”
Governor Cornelius “Corny” McPhee announced the execution with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning. “We’ve been waiting for this moment since the last execution in 2005,” he said, sporting a t-shirt that read, “Execution: The Ultimate Time-Out.” “We’re like a sports team that finally scored a touchdown after 15 years of fumbles. Who knew it would take us this long to get back in the game?”
The execution of the convicted murderer, who we’ll call “Murderer McMurderface” for the sake of anonymity, was met with mixed reactions. Local resident and self-proclaimed execution expert, Betty “The Executioner” Thompson, said, “I thought we were just going to keep him in a basement forever. I mean, have you seen the price of rent these days?”
Critics of the execution have pointed out that Indiana’s approach to justice is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. “It’s like they’re trying to win a gold medal in the ‘Most Ineffective Justice System’ Olympics,” said activist and part-time magician, David “The Disappearing Act” Johnson. “Next, they’ll be executing people for jaywalking!”
As Indiana prepares for its next execution, which is rumored to be scheduled for 2038, the state has promised to keep the public entertained with a series of execution-themed events, including “Execution Bingo” and “Guess Who’s Next?”
In the meantime, the state’s motto has been updated to: “Indiana: Where We’re Just Getting Started… Again!”
