**Title: Harvard’s International Students Declare Independence After Trump Administration Policies**
In a shocking turn of events, Harvard’s international student community has announced its intention to declare independence from the United States, citing the Trump administration’s policies as the final straw. The decision came after a heated debate over whether to serve avocado toast or hot dogs at the next international potluck.
“Honestly, we were just trying to enjoy our studies and maybe a little boba tea,” said international student and self-proclaimed avocado enthusiast, Chen “The Guac” Wang. “But then the administration started throwing around words like ‘merit-based’ and ‘visa restrictions.’ I mean, what’s next? A ban on croissants?”
The students, who have been living in fear of being sent back to their home countries, have decided to take matters into their own hands. They’ve formed a new nation called “Harvardia,” where the official language is a mix of English, Mandarin, and whatever dialect of sarcasm they can muster. The national dish? A fusion of sushi and pizza, naturally.
“We’re going to have our own currency too,” said Maria “The Taco” Gonzalez, the newly appointed Minister of Snacks. “It’ll be called the ‘Harvard Dollar,’ and it will be worth exactly one avocado toast. Because let’s be real, that’s the only thing that matters in this economy.”
In a bold move, the students have also announced plans to build a wall around the campus, but it will be made entirely of textbooks. “We figured it would keep out the bad vibes,” said Raj “The Curry” Patel, the Minister of Good Vibes. “Plus, it’s eco-friendly!”
As the students prepare for their new life in Harvardia, they’ve sent a message to the Trump administration: “We’re not leaving. We’re just taking our avocado toast and going home… to our own country!”
In response, the administration has reportedly issued a statement saying, “We’re not worried. They’ll be back for the free Wi-Fi.”
And so, as Harvard’s international students embark on their quest for independence, one thing is clear: they may be leaving the U.S., but they’re taking their love for overpriced coffee and existential dread with them.
