**Illinois Town Seizes Pope Leo XIV’s Childhood Home for Historic Preservation: A Divine Comedy**
In a move that has left historians scratching their heads and local residents scratching their chins, the quaint town of Peoria, Illinois, has officially seized the childhood home of Pope Leo XIV for “historic preservation.” Yes, you read that right—Peoria, the town famous for its corn and questionable deep-dish pizza, is now the proud owner of a house that once housed a future pontiff.
Mayor Chuck “Holy Smokes” McGee announced the decision at a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable Pope Leo XIV. “We figured if we can’t have a real pope, we might as well have his childhood home,” he declared, adjusting his oversized sunglasses. “Besides, it’s not like anyone else was using it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to visit the place where a future pope learned to throw tantrums and eat spaghetti?”
Local historian and self-proclaimed “Pope-ologist,” Dr. Mary “Holy Roller” Thompson, chimed in, saying, “This is a monumental moment for Peoria. We’re not just preserving a house; we’re preserving a legacy. Plus, we can finally stop using that old barn as a tourist attraction.”
The town plans to turn the home into a museum featuring exhibits like “Papal Playtime” and “The Art of Napping: A Pope’s Guide.” Local resident and amateur theologian, Bob “The Confessor” Jenkins, expressed his excitement: “I can’t wait to see the room where he learned to say ‘Hail Mary’—I hear it’s just a closet with a lot of dust bunnies.”
As the town prepares for the grand opening, they are also considering a new slogan: “Peoria: Where Every House Has a Prayer.” So, if you’re in the area, don’t forget to stop by and pay homage to the place where a future pope probably learned to dodge chores and sneak cookies. After all, who wouldn’t want to visit the birthplace of divine mischief?
