**ICE Leader Supports Agents’ Mask Use, Criticizes Sanctuary Cities: “Masks Are for Safety, Not Just for Halloween!”**
In a shocking twist that has left the nation both amused and bewildered, the head of ICE, Chuck “The Masked Avenger” Johnson, has come out in full support of his agents wearing masks—though he’s not talking about the kind you’d wear to a Halloween party. “We’re not just here to catch bad guys; we’re here to look good while doing it!” Johnson declared at a press conference, donning a bedazzled mask that would make even the most seasoned superhero jealous.
In a bold move, Johnson also took aim at sanctuary cities, claiming they were “like a piñata at a kid’s birthday party—full of candy but impossible to break into.” He added, “We need to stop treating these cities like they’re the VIP section of a nightclub. Everyone should have to wait in line!”
When asked about the juxtaposition of supporting mask use while criticizing sanctuary cities, Johnson replied, “Masks protect our agents from germs, while sanctuary cities protect criminals from consequences. It’s like wearing a raincoat in a hurricane but still getting soaked because you’re standing under a leaky roof!”
Meanwhile, local sanctuary city mayor, Linda “No Masks Allowed” Thompson, responded with a statement of her own: “If ICE wants to wear masks, they should at least pick something more fashionable. I mean, have you seen the latest trends? They could use a makeover!”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: whether it’s masks or mayors, the only thing that’s certain is that laughter is the best policy—unless you’re in a sanctuary city, in which case, it’s probably just a good idea to keep your head down and hope for the best.
