**House Republicans’ Tax Bill Threatens Biden’s Clean Energy Tax Credits: A Shocking Turn of Events!**
In a move that has left environmentalists gasping for air (and not just because they forgot to recycle their last takeout container), House Republicans have unveiled a tax bill that threatens to snuff out President Biden’s beloved clean energy tax credits. The bill, affectionately dubbed the “Let’s Make America Pollute Again” act, aims to ensure that fossil fuels remain the life of the party—because who doesn’t love a good oil spill?
“Why should we let clean energy have all the fun?” said House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who was last seen trying to convince a wind turbine to switch to coal. “We believe in freedom, and nothing says freedom like a good ol’ gas guzzler. Plus, have you ever tried to barbecue with solar panels? It’s just not the same!”
Meanwhile, Senator Ted Cruz was spotted at a Texas barbecue, proudly declaring, “I don’t need a tax credit to tell me that coal is the best energy source. Just look at how much smoke it produces! It’s like a barbecue for the atmosphere!”
In a shocking twist, the bill also includes a provision that would require all electric vehicles to be outfitted with a “Vroom Vroom” sound effect, because nothing says “eco-friendly” like a car that sounds like it’s auditioning for a Fast & Furious movie.
Environmental activist Greta Thunberg responded with a simple, “Are you kidding me?” before promptly throwing her reusable water bottle at a nearby SUV. “I thought we were past this! What’s next? Tax breaks for dinosaurs?”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: House Republicans are determined to keep America’s energy sources as dirty as their campaign ads. And if that means sacrificing clean air for a few extra bucks, well, they’re all in—just as long as they can still grill burgers on a coal-powered grill.
