**House GOP Tax Package Price Tag Jumps to $3.94 Trillion: A New Record for Fiscal Gymnastics!**
In a stunning display of financial acrobatics, the House GOP has unveiled a tax package that has officially jumped to a staggering $3.94 trillion. Yes, you read that right—trillion with a “T.” That’s enough money to buy every American a lifetime supply of avocado toast and still have enough left over for a few rounds of golf at Mar-a-Lago.
House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who was last seen trying to balance a budget on a unicycle, stated, “We believe in fiscal responsibility. That’s why we’re proposing a tax plan that costs more than my last three marriages combined!” When asked how they plan to fund this ambitious package, McCarthy added, “We’re just going to ask the Tooth Fairy for a loan. She’s got a pretty good credit score.”
Meanwhile, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene chimed in, “This tax plan is like my favorite pair of stretchy pants—flexible and capable of holding a lot more than you’d expect!” Greene also suggested that the government should consider selling “I Survived the GOP Tax Plan” T-shirts to help cover the costs.
Critics are already lining up to voice their concerns. “This is like trying to fill a bathtub with a garden hose while the drain is wide open,” said economist Dr. Phil McCracken. “At this rate, we’ll be paying taxes on our taxes!”
As the GOP prepares to roll out this financial rollercoaster, one thing is clear: if laughter is the best medicine, then this tax package is the cure for boredom. So grab your popcorn, folks; it’s going to be a wild ride!
