**House GOP Emulates ‘Nighthawks’ in Effort to Advance Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’**
In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and art historians rolling their eyes, the House GOP has decided to channel Edward Hopper’s iconic painting “Nighthawks” in their latest effort to push forward Donald Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill.” The bill, which promises to be as grand as a New York skyscraper and as functional as a chocolate teapot, aims to address everything from infrastructure to the price of avocado toast.
The GOP gathered in a diner-like setting, complete with faux leather booths and a suspiciously sticky counter, to strategize their plan. “We figured if we could capture the essence of ‘Nighthawks,’ we could also capture the essence of America,” said House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who was seen sipping a milkshake while wearing a fedora. “Plus, who doesn’t love a good diner? It’s where all the best ideas are born—right next to the pie.”
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene chimed in, “I think we should add a side of conspiracy theories to the bill. You know, just to spice things up. Maybe a provision that requires all diners to serve only organic, gluten-free pancakes made from the tears of liberals.”
Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was spotted in the corner booth, furiously scribbling notes on a napkin. “I’m just trying to figure out how to make this bill as confusing as possible,” he muttered. “If we can’t dazzle them with brilliance, we’ll baffle them with bureaucracy!”
As the meeting progressed, the GOP members began to take on the personas of Hopper’s characters. Rep. Jim Jordan donned a trench coat and sunglasses, declaring, “I’m the mysterious figure in the painting. You know, the one who’s always lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pounce on a good soundbite.”
In a surprising twist, the House GOP decided to host a “Nighthawks” themed fundraiser, where attendees could enjoy diner food while discussing the finer points of the bill. “We’re calling it ‘Dine and Dash for Democracy,’” said Rep. Lauren Boebert, who was busy trying to balance a plate of fries on her head. “It’s all about making politics fun again!”
As the night wore on, the GOP members raised their milkshakes in a toast to their “Big, Beautiful Bill,” while simultaneously trying to figure out how to fit a giant neon sign into the legislation. “If it doesn’t glow, it’s not going to get passed,” McCarthy declared, as the group erupted in laughter.
In the end, whether or not the “Big, Beautiful Bill” will see the light of day remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure: the House GOP has officially taken a page from the art world, proving that politics can be as surreal as a Hopper painting—just with more fries and fewer existential crises.
