**Flesh-Eating New World Screwworm: The Uninvited Guest at the Cattle Party**
In a shocking turn of events, the New World Screwworm has decided to crash the cattle party, and it’s not just munching on the grass. This flesh-eating menace is making headlines, and not just because it’s the worst houseguest ever. Cattle ranchers are now facing a dilemma: how to keep their cows safe from these insatiable larvae while also trying to figure out how to explain to their neighbors why their cows are suddenly sporting more holes than Swiss cheese.
Local rancher, Buck “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” McGraw, expressed his frustration: “I thought I was just raising beef, not a buffet for these little monsters! I mean, who invited them? I didn’t even send out a ‘Save the Date’!”
The Screwworms, which are apparently on a mission to redefine the term “meat lover,” have also been spotted eyeing humans. “I was just trying to enjoy my barbecue when I felt something crawling on my leg,” said local grill master, Patty “I’m Not Made of Meat” Johnson. “I thought it was a mosquito, but then I realized it was a Screwworm trying to get a taste of my brisket! I had to run inside and hide behind my cat!”
Experts are baffled by the Screwworms’ sudden rise to fame. Dr. Phil McCracken, a self-proclaimed entomologist and part-time stand-up comedian, stated, “These Screwworms are like the Kardashians of the insect world—everyone’s talking about them, but nobody really knows why they’re famous!”
As the battle against these flesh-eating fiends continues, ranchers are left to ponder the ultimate question: how do you keep your cattle safe while also ensuring your barbecue remains a Screwworm-free zone? One thing’s for sure: if you see a cow wearing a “No Screwworms Allowed” sign, you might want to take it seriously.
In the meantime, ranchers are advised to keep their cattle close and their barbecues closer. After all, nobody wants to be the next victim of the Screwworm’s insatiable appetite for flesh—unless, of course, you’re a hot dog.
