**Harvard University Takes Legal Action Against Trump Administration’s Ban on Foreign Students: “We Need More People to Teach Us How to Pronounce ‘Quinoa'”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the academic world reeling, Harvard University has announced it will take legal action against the Trump administration’s ban on foreign students. The prestigious institution claims that without international scholars, they might have to resort to hiring actual Americans to teach classes, which could lead to a catastrophic decline in the average SAT score.
“Look, we can’t have a bunch of students who think ‘quinoa’ is pronounced like ‘kwin-oh,’” said Harvard’s Dean of International Affairs, Dr. Ima Genius. “We need foreign students to keep our campus trendy and our dining hall menus exotic. What’s next? A ban on avocado toast?”
In a press conference that was more like a TED Talk gone wrong, Harvard President Lawrence Bacow declared, “This ban is not just an attack on our students; it’s an attack on our ability to throw the best parties. How can we have a proper ‘International Night’ without students from 47 different countries arguing over who makes the best hummus?”
Meanwhile, the Trump administration responded with a tweet that read, “Harvard is just mad because they can’t get their hands on any more of that sweet, sweet foreign tuition money. #MakeCollegeGreatAgain.”
In a surprising twist, a group of Harvard students has launched a counter-campaign called “Operation: Bring Back the Foreigners.” Their slogan? “We can’t spell ‘schadenfreude’ without ‘foreign.’”
As the legal battle heats up, one thing is clear: Harvard is determined to keep its campus diverse, even if it means hiring a few more people who can explain the difference between a croissant and a crescent roll. After all, if they can’t have foreign students, who will teach them how to properly pronounce “scone”?
