**Harvard Medical School Morgue Manager Admits Guilt in Body Parts Theft and Sale: “I Just Wanted to Make a Little Extra Cash!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the academic world reeling, the Morgue Manager of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Morty McBones, has confessed to a side hustle that would make even the most enterprising of grave robbers blush. In a press conference held in the dimly lit basement of the medical school, Dr. McBones admitted to stealing body parts and selling them on the dark web, claiming, “I just wanted to make a little extra cash for my cat’s college fund. Fluffy deserves the best!”
The scandal erupted when students began noticing that their anatomy classes were missing a few key components. “I thought it was just a new teaching method,” said bewildered student, Jane Doe. “But when I found out we were using gummy bears instead of actual organs, I knew something was up!”
Dr. McBones, who has been with Harvard for over a decade, explained his reasoning: “I figured if I could sell a kidney for a couple of grand, why not? I mean, have you seen the price of textbooks these days?!” He also added, “I thought I was just being resourceful. You know, like recycling!”
The Harvard administration has since launched an investigation, with Dean of Medicine, Dr. Ima Quack, stating, “We take this matter very seriously. We’re not just a school for future doctors; we’re a school for future ethical doctors. Well, most of the time.”
As the story unfolds, students are left wondering if they’ll ever see their beloved cadavers again. “I just hope they didn’t sell my favorite one, Larry,” lamented anatomy student, Bob “The Body” Johnson. “He had a great personality!”
In the meantime, Dr. McBones has been placed on administrative leave, but not before he was spotted trying to sell a “gently used” femur on eBay. “It’s a classic! Perfect for your Halloween decorations!” he exclaimed, as he was escorted away by campus security.
As Harvard grapples with this bizarre scandal, one thing is clear: the only thing more shocking than body parts being sold is the fact that Fluffy’s college fund might just be the most lucrative side hustle in academia!
