**Haiti’s Biggest Hospital, Dependent on U.S.A.I.D., Set on Fire by Gangs: A Fiery Turn of Events!**
In a shocking turn of events that could only be described as “the plot twist of the century,” Haiti’s biggest hospital, which has been heavily reliant on U.S.A.I.D. funding, was set ablaze by local gangs. Witnesses reported that the flames were so bright, they could be seen from space—NASA is currently investigating if they can use the fire as a new beacon for lost astronauts.
Local gang leader “Flame Thrower” McGee stated, “We just wanted to heat things up a bit! You know, bring some ‘fire’ to the healthcare debate!” When asked if they had any plans to rebuild the hospital, he shrugged and said, “Nah, we’re more into demolition than construction. Besides, have you seen the price of bricks lately?”
In a bizarre twist, U.S.A.I.D. officials were quick to respond, stating, “We were just about to send a shipment of band-aids and aspirin! But now we’re considering sending fire extinguishers instead. Maybe some marshmallows for a hospital bonfire party?”
Meanwhile, local residents have taken to social media to express their mixed feelings. One resident tweeted, “On one hand, we need healthcare. On the other hand, this is the most excitement we’ve had since the last election! #Priorities.”
As the smoke clears, it seems that Haiti’s healthcare system is now in a “hot” mess, and the only prescription is more chaos. Stay tuned for updates as we continue to monitor this fiery situation—because who needs a hospital when you can have a bonfire?
