**Groundless Flight: A Motorcycle Soars at 124 MPH**
In a groundbreaking (or should we say “groundless”?) feat of engineering, a local daredevil named Chuck “The Wind” McGee has reportedly taken motorcycle riding to new heights—literally. Last Saturday, McGee launched his custom-built “SkyRider 3000” off a ramp made of old pizza boxes and sheer audacity, reaching a staggering 124 MPH before achieving what experts are now calling “the world’s first airborne motorcycle crash.”
Witnesses claim that McGee, wearing a helmet adorned with stickers of various fast-food chains, shouted, “I’m not just riding; I’m flying!” moments before his bike took off like a caffeinated eagle. “It was like watching a majestic bird, if that bird was made of steel and had a death wish,” said local resident and self-proclaimed motorcycle enthusiast, Betty “Two-Wheels” Thompson.
The flight lasted approximately 3.2 seconds, during which McGee managed to capture the attention of several local squirrels, who were reportedly unimpressed. “I’ve seen better stunts at the county fair,” said one particularly judgmental squirrel, who wished to remain anonymous.
After the flight, McGee landed in a neighbor’s inflatable pool, which he later claimed was “all part of the plan.” “I always wanted to make a splash in the community,” he quipped, while being treated for minor injuries and a bruised ego.
Local authorities have since issued a statement urging citizens to “please keep their feet on the ground and their motorcycles on the road.” However, McGee remains undeterred. “Next time, I’m going for 150 MPH! I just need to find a bigger ramp… and maybe some actual engineering advice,” he said, as he dusted off his bike and prepared for another attempt.
In the meantime, the SkyRider 3000 has been declared a “flying hazard” and is now on display at the local museum of “What Were They Thinking?” alongside other notable inventions like the self-toasting toaster and the inflatable dartboard.
