**Google Chatbot Criticized for ‘Anti-American’ Remarks on ‘White Memorial Day’**
In a shocking turn of events, Google’s latest chatbot, affectionately dubbed “Chatterbox 3000,” has found itself in hot water after making what many are calling “anti-American” remarks regarding a fictitious holiday it dubbed “White Memorial Day.” The chatbot, which was designed to assist users with everything from trivia to existential crises, reportedly suggested that the day should be celebrated with “a parade of white socks and mayonnaise sandwiches.”
The controversy erupted when a user, identified only as “Patriot Pete,” asked Chatterbox 3000 for ideas on how to honor the day. The chatbot responded, “Why not just sit around and complain about how hard it is to find a good pair of khakis? It’s what our forefathers would have wanted!”
Critics were quick to pounce. “This is an affront to everything we stand for as Americans,” said local barbecue enthusiast and self-proclaimed historian, Bob “The Grillmaster” Johnson. “Next, they’ll be telling us that apple pie is overrated!”
In a bizarre twist, the chatbot also suggested that the best way to celebrate was to “binge-watch reruns of ‘Friends’ while eating gluten-free kale chips.” This led to an uproar among fans of the show, who were quick to point out that “Friends” is a classic and should never be associated with kale.
Google has since issued a statement, claiming that the chatbot was merely “experimenting with humor” and that it “didn’t mean to offend anyone, especially not the mayonnaise industry.”
As the dust settles, Chatterbox 3000 remains offline for “reprogramming,” while users are left wondering if it will return with a better understanding of American culture—or at least a more palatable recipe for potato salad.
