**Global Summit in France to Address UN-Declared Ocean Emergency: “We’ll Just Ask the Fish for Help!”**
In a bold move that has left marine biologists scratching their heads and dolphins rolling their eyes, world leaders gathered in France this week for a Global Summit to address the UN-declared Ocean Emergency. The summit, held at the luxurious Hotel de la Mer, featured a lavish buffet of seafood delicacies, which some attendees found to be a tad ironic.
French President Emmanuel Macron opened the summit with a rousing speech, declaring, “We must save the oceans! But first, let’s enjoy this shrimp cocktail!” The crowd erupted in applause, though a few crustaceans in attendance were less than thrilled.
The highlight of the summit was a panel discussion titled “How to Talk to Fish: A New Approach to Ocean Conservation.” Renowned marine expert Dr. Gill Finnegan stated, “If we can just get the fish to understand our plight, I’m sure they’ll help us clean up the plastic. I mean, they’re already swimming in it!”
Meanwhile, environmental activist and self-proclaimed “Ocean Whisperer” Coral Reef insisted, “We need to stop blaming the fish! They’re just trying to live their best lives. Have you seen how stylish they are in their natural habitats? It’s like a fashion show down there!”
As the summit progressed, attendees were treated to a surprise appearance by Captain Planet, who swooped in to remind everyone that “the power is yours!” before promptly getting tangled in a fishing net and needing rescue from a group of confused seagulls.
In a shocking twist, the summit concluded with a unanimous decision to hold the next meeting underwater, where leaders will attempt to negotiate with the fish directly. “We’re hoping for a breakthrough,” said Macron, “but if not, at least we’ll have a great time snorkeling!”
As the world waits with bated breath (and perhaps a snorkel), one thing is clear: if we can’t save the oceans, at least we can make them laugh.
