**France’s National Assembly Passes Controversial Bill on End-of-Life Choices: A Toast to the Grim Reaper!**
In a move that has left both the living and the undead scratching their heads, France’s National Assembly has passed a controversial bill on end-of-life choices, allowing citizens to choose their own exit strategy. The bill, dubbed “Le Grand Goodbye,” aims to give people the freedom to decide how they want to shuffle off this mortal coil—preferably with a baguette in one hand and a glass of Bordeaux in the other.
“Why should we leave this world without a little flair?” said Assembly member Jean-Claude Croissant, who proposed the bill while sipping a café au lait. “If I want to go out in a cloud of confetti while listening to Edith Piaf, who’s to stop me?”
The bill includes options such as “The Eiffel Tower Drop,” where individuals can choose to plummet from the iconic landmark while shouting their favorite French phrases, and “The Croissant Caper,” which involves a dramatic exit while being chased by a mob of angry bakers. “I can’t think of a better way to go than being pursued by a dozen pastry chefs,” said local resident Marie Antoinette, who is still very much alive but is already planning her exit strategy.
Critics of the bill, including the newly formed group “Les Vieux et les Ennuyeux” (The Old and Boring), argue that it trivializes the seriousness of death. “This is not a circus!” exclaimed their spokesperson, Pierre Pantalon. “What’s next? A ‘Last Supper’ buffet with all-you-can-eat escargot?”
Despite the backlash, the bill passed with a resounding majority, leaving many to wonder if the French have finally taken their love for drama too far. “I just want to go peacefully in my sleep,” said 87-year-old Henri Dupont, who was last seen practicing his exit dance moves in a local café. “But if I can do it with a side of cheese, why not?”
As the nation prepares for a future filled with flamboyant farewells, one thing is clear: in France, even death comes with a side of humor, a sprinkle of absurdity, and a whole lot of style. So raise your glasses, folks—here’s to life, death, and everything in between! Santé!
