**Fortnite Makes a Comeback on iPhone App Store in the U.S.: Gamers Rejoice, Parents Panic!**
In a shocking turn of events that has left parents clutching their wallets and gamers clutching their controllers, Fortnite has officially made a triumphant return to the iPhone App Store in the U.S. After a lengthy hiatus that felt longer than a season of “The Bachelor,” the beloved battle royale game is back, and it’s bringing chaos, dance emotes, and a whole lot of pixelated mayhem with it.
“I thought I’d never see my son again,” lamented local parent Karen McFadden, who had previously resorted to family board game nights. “Now he’s back in his room, yelling at strangers and building virtual mansions. I’m just glad he’s not trying to build a real one with my credit card.”
Epic Games, the masterminds behind Fortnite, released a statement that read, “We’re thrilled to be back on iPhone! We missed the sound of kids screaming ‘I’m going to build a 90!’ while their parents scream ‘What’s a 90?!’” CEO Tim Sweeney added, “We also missed the sweet, sweet sound of microtransactions. Did we mention we have a new skin? It’s a banana wearing a tuxedo. You’re welcome.”
Meanwhile, gamers across the nation are celebrating the return of their favorite pastime. “I’ve been waiting for this moment like a kid waits for Christmas,” said 12-year-old Billy “The Builder” Thompson, who has already amassed a collection of virtual skins that could rival a fashion week runway. “I can’t wait to get back to my favorite activity: avoiding homework!”
As the news spread, parents took to social media to express their concerns. “I just got my son to stop using his iPad as a dinner plate,” tweeted mom-of-three Linda “I-Just-Want-Silence” Johnson. “Now he’s back to using it as a portal to a world where he can build a fortress and shoot laser beams at other kids. What happened to playing outside?”
In response to the parental panic, Epic Games has announced a new feature: “Parental Control Mode,” which allows parents to limit playtime while simultaneously enabling them to hear their children’s cries of despair when they realize they can’t play for more than 30 minutes.
As Fortnite reclaims its throne on the App Store, one thing is clear: the battle for screen time has only just begun. So grab your pickaxe, put on your best dance emote, and prepare for the ultimate showdown between kids and their parents. Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that Fortnite is back, and it’s here to stay—at least until the next big thing comes along.
