**Shawn Kemp Admits Guilt in Washington Parking Lot Shooting Incident: “I Thought It Was a Game of Horse!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the basketball world reeling, former NBA star Shawn Kemp has admitted guilt in a bizarre parking lot shooting incident in Washington. Witnesses say the whole thing started when Kemp mistook a heated argument over a parking space for a competitive game of “Horse.”
“I thought we were just playing for the last slice of pizza!” Kemp exclaimed in a press conference, flanked by his attorney, who was wearing a jersey that read “I’m Just Here for the Snacks.” “I mean, who knew that yelling ‘I’ll shoot!’ could be taken literally?”
According to sources, the incident began when Kemp parked his car in a spot that was allegedly reserved for local celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. “I was just trying to get my car in the right position, like I used to do on the court,” Kemp explained. “But then Ramsay showed up, and let me tell you, he was not ‘cooking’ with kindness!”
Eyewitnesses reported that Kemp and Ramsay exchanged heated words, with Ramsay shouting, “You call that a parking job? I’ve seen better from a blindfolded raccoon!” In a moment of confusion, Kemp pulled out what he claimed was a “basketball” but turned out to be a water gun filled with grape soda. “I thought it was a new shooting drill!” he insisted.
Local authorities were quick to respond, with Officer Bob “The Rebound” Johnson stating, “We’ve seen some wild things in this city, but a former NBA star mistaking a parking lot for a court? That’s a new one.”
As Kemp faces charges, he remains optimistic. “I’m just hoping to get a plea deal that involves community service at a local basketball camp. I can teach kids how to shoot… just not in parking lots!”
In the meantime, Ramsay has reportedly challenged Kemp to a cook-off, stating, “If he can’t shoot straight, maybe he can at least sauté!”
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, and remember folks, always check your surroundings before you shoot—especially if you’re not on the court!
