**Fifth New Orleans Jail Escapee Captured After Days on the Run: “I Just Wanted a Beignet!”**
In a plot twist that could only happen in the Big Easy, the fifth jail escapee from the New Orleans Correctional Facility was captured after a week-long escapade that included a failed attempt to start a jazz band and a questionable decision to try and swim in the Mississippi River. Authorities say that 32-year-old Clyde “The Croissant” Dupree was apprehended while attempting to order a beignet from Café du Monde, claiming he was “just trying to get a taste of freedom.”
Dupree, who had been on the lam since his daring escape involving a spoon and a very enthusiastic raccoon, was found wearing a beret and sunglasses, insisting he was “just a tourist.” Witnesses reported that he was trying to convince a group of bewildered tourists that he was a “local artist” who needed “inspiration” for his next masterpiece, which he described as “a mural of my life in prison, but with more jazz hands.”
Sheriff Boudreaux, who has been leading the manhunt, stated, “We thought we’d lost him to the streets of New Orleans, but it turns out he just wanted to be part of the culinary scene. I mean, who can blame him? Have you tried those beignets?”
Dupree’s capture came after he attempted to barter a stolen saxophone for a plate of gumbo, leading to his arrest by an undercover chef. “I just wanted to jam with the locals!” Dupree exclaimed as he was led away in handcuffs. “I thought I could start a band called ‘The Escaped Notes!’”
As Dupree returns to his cell, he leaves behind a legacy of culinary dreams and a new appreciation for the phrase “you can’t escape your cravings.” Local authorities are now on high alert for the remaining escapees, who are rumored to be plotting their next move: a food truck venture called “Prison Break Bites.” Stay tuned, New Orleans!
