**Federal Office Leases Reinstated Following Pushback Against Musk Team’s Reductions**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, federal office leases have been reinstated after a fierce backlash against the Musk team’s ambitious plan to downsize government offices. Apparently, the idea of turning the Department of Agriculture into a trendy co-working space was not as well-received as they had hoped.
“Honestly, I thought we could just put a ping pong table in the break room and call it a day,” said Elon Musk, who was last seen trying to convince a group of bewildered senators that a “flexible workspace” would boost productivity. “I mean, who needs a desk when you can work from a bean bag chair?”
The Musk team’s proposal included converting the Department of Education into a virtual reality gaming hub, where employees could “learn” about history by battling digital dinosaurs. “I was all for it until I realized I’d have to wear a VR headset while trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem,” lamented one beleaguered teacher.
In response to the uproar, Congress quickly reinstated the leases, with one senator quipping, “We can’t have our government offices looking like a Silicon Valley startup. Where would we put the free coffee and motivational posters?”
As the dust settles, federal employees are reportedly relieved to return to their cubicles, where they can once again enjoy the sweet sound of printers jamming and the delightful aroma of burnt microwave popcorn. “I just want to work in peace,” said one anonymous employee. “And maybe have a chance to actually use my stapler before it becomes a relic of the past.”
In the end, it seems that while the Musk team may have had some out-of-this-world ideas, the federal workforce is more than happy to keep their feet firmly planted on the ground—preferably in a cubicle with a view of the break room.
