**Federal Judge Upholds Decision Against Deportee’s Return to the US: A Comedy of Errors**
In a landmark ruling that has left legal experts scratching their heads and comedians rolling on the floor, a federal judge has upheld a decision barring a deportee from returning to the United States. The deportee, known only as “Carlos the Unfortunate,” was reportedly last seen trying to sneak back into the country by disguising himself as a piñata at a children’s birthday party.
Judge Judy “Not That One” McRulerson stated, “We simply cannot allow Carlos back. I mean, if we let him in, what’s next? A taco truck on every corner? Oh wait, we already have that!” The ruling has sparked a nationwide debate on whether piñata impersonation should be considered a legitimate form of immigration.
Carlos, who claims he was merely trying to “bring joy and candy to the children,” expressed his disappointment through a series of interpretive dance moves that left onlookers confused. “I just wanted to be part of the American dream,” he said, while simultaneously dodging a swing from a blindfolded five-year-old.
In a surprising twist, the judge’s decision was backed by a coalition of local squirrels who argued that allowing Carlos back would “disrupt the delicate balance of nut distribution in the park.” One squirrel, who identified himself as “Nutty McNutface,” stated, “We’ve worked too hard to keep our acorn stash safe. No piñata is worth that risk!”
As the nation watches this legal drama unfold, one thing is clear: Carlos may be out of the country, but he’s certainly not out of our hearts—or our birthday parties.
