**Federal Judge Known for Anti-Trump Comments Assigned to Hannah Dugan Case: A Match Made in Political Heaven**
In a shocking twist that has left legal experts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists high-fiving in their basements, a federal judge notorious for his anti-Trump comments has been assigned to the case of Hannah Dugan, a local cat lady accused of stealing her neighbor’s garden gnomes. Yes, you read that right—garden gnomes.
Judge Max “The Gavel” McBitter, who once famously tweeted, “If Trump were a vegetable, he’d be a rotten tomato,” is now tasked with determining whether Dugan’s gnome-napping spree was a crime of passion or just a misguided attempt to start a gnome rescue organization. “I’m just here to make sure justice is served,” McBitter said, while adjusting his “Impeach the Peach” lapel pin. “And if that means sending a few gnomes back to their rightful homes, so be it.”
Dugan, who claims she was merely “borrowing” the gnomes for a “gnome-themed art installation,” is reportedly thrilled about the judge’s assignment. “I mean, who wouldn’t want a judge who hates Trump? It’s like having a referee who’s already rooting for your team!” she exclaimed, while holding a gnome dressed as a tiny version of herself.
Legal analysts are divided on the implications of this pairing. “It’s like mixing oil and water, or Trump and common sense,” said legal expert and part-time magician, Dr. Albus Dumbledore. “But in the end, it’s all about the gnomes. And let’s be honest, they’re the real victims here.”
As the case unfolds, one thing is clear: whether it’s gnomes or politics, Judge McBitter is ready to make a ruling that will leave everyone scratching their heads and wondering if they accidentally tuned into a reality show instead of a courtroom drama. Stay tuned for updates, and remember—never underestimate the power of a determined cat lady and her army of garden gnomes!
