**Federal Judge Halts Trump Administration’s Move to End Legal Status for International Students: A Comedy of Errors**
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Trump administration scratching its collective head, a federal judge has halted the move to end legal status for international students. The ruling came just as the administration was preparing to roll out its new “Make America Grate Again” campaign, which aimed to replace international students with a fleet of highly-trained raccoons to fill the gaps in the workforce.
Judge Hilaria Gavel, known for her sharp wit and even sharper gavel, stated, “You can’t just kick out the students who are here to learn. I mean, have you seen the state of American education? We need all the help we can get!” She then added, “Besides, who else is going to teach us how to pronounce ‘quinoa’ correctly?”
In a press conference that was more circus than serious, White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany attempted to defend the administration’s position. “We believe in American exceptionalism,” she declared, “which is why we think it’s time to replace international students with American exceptionalists—like that guy who can juggle flaming torches while reciting the Constitution.”
Meanwhile, international students across the country celebrated the ruling by throwing a massive pizza party, complete with a karaoke machine and a surprise appearance by DJ “Not-So-Immigrant.” One student, who wished to remain anonymous, exclaimed, “I’m just glad I can stay! I was worried I’d have to go back to my country and face my parents’ disappointment. Now I can continue my studies and avoid that awkward family dinner!”
As the dust settles, it seems the only thing more uncertain than the future of international students is whether the administration will ever figure out how to juggle its own policies. In the meantime, we can all agree on one thing: if you can’t beat ‘em, at least let them teach you how to make a mean curry.
