**Federal Charges Launched Against Democratic Congresswoman After ICE Facility Altercation: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that could only be scripted by a team of caffeinated monkeys, Democratic Congresswoman Linda “The Lioness” McFumble has found herself facing federal charges after a bizarre altercation at an ICE facility. Witnesses report that the incident began when McFumble attempted to deliver a heartfelt speech about immigration reform but accidentally mistook a security guard for a piñata.
“I was just trying to make a point about the importance of compassion,” McFumble stated, her hair still slightly askew from the tussle. “But when I saw that guard’s shiny badge, I thought, ‘What better way to break the ice than with a little swing and a miss?’”
The altercation escalated when McFumble, in a fit of passion, threw a stack of pamphlets that accidentally hit a nearby taco truck. “I was just trying to promote local businesses!” she exclaimed. “Who knew tacos could be so… evasive?”
The charges against her include “assault with a deadly burrito” and “disturbing the peace with excessive enthusiasm.” Fellow Congresswoman and taco enthusiast, Maria “The Salsa Queen” Rodriguez, commented, “I’ve seen some wild things in Congress, but this takes the taco. I mean, who throws pamphlets? That’s just bad form!”
As the dust settles, McFumble remains defiant. “I’ll fight these charges like a taco fights gravity—one delicious bite at a time!” she declared, while accidentally stepping on a stray taco shell.
In a world where political drama often resembles a sitcom, this latest episode proves that sometimes, the real comedy lies not in the policies, but in the people who make them. Stay tuned for the upcoming reality show, “Congressional Brawl: The Taco Chronicles.”
