**FDA Greenlights Moderna’s New Low-Dose COVID-19 Vaccine: Now with Extra Sprinkles!**
In a groundbreaking move that has left the world both relieved and slightly confused, the FDA has officially greenlit Moderna’s new low-dose COVID-19 vaccine, which promises to be as effective as a double espresso shot on a Monday morning—minus the jitters, of course.
The new vaccine, dubbed “Moderna Lite,” is designed for those who find the original dose just a tad too… well, dose-y. “We wanted to create something that feels less like a medical procedure and more like a fun day at the carnival,” said Dr. Phil McCracken, Moderna’s Chief Fun Officer. “Now, you can get vaccinated and enjoy a cotton candy-flavored shot! Who says health can’t be delicious?”
In a press conference that was more like a stand-up comedy show, Dr. McCracken added, “We even considered adding sprinkles, but the FDA said that was ‘unprofessional.’ I mean, who doesn’t love sprinkles?”
The vaccine is reportedly so low-dose that some skeptics are wondering if it’s just a placebo in a fancy bottle. “I took the shot and felt nothing,” said local resident Karen “I’m Not Anti-Vax, Just Anti-Needles” Johnson. “But then again, I also took a shot of tequila right after, so who knows?”
In a surprising twist, the FDA has also announced that the vaccine will come with a complimentary sticker that reads, “I Got My Shot and All I Got Was This Lousy Sticker.” “We wanted to make sure people felt appreciated,” said FDA spokesperson Barry “Not That Barry” Allen. “And who doesn’t love a good sticker?”
As the world prepares for this new chapter in vaccination history, one thing is clear: if you’re going to get vaccinated, you might as well do it with a side of sprinkles. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from this pandemic, it’s that laughter—and low doses—are the best medicine.
