**FDA Cautions Seniors Against Vaccine Due to Serious Complications: Side Effects Include Dancing Like No One’s Watching**
In a shocking announcement that has left the senior community both bewildered and slightly amused, the FDA has issued a cautionary statement advising seniors against getting vaccinated due to “serious complications.” These complications, according to the agency, include an uncontrollable urge to break into spontaneous dance, an overwhelming desire to binge-watch reality TV, and an alarming tendency to start knitting sweaters for their cats.
“Look, we’re not saying the vaccine is dangerous,” said Dr. Mortimer P. Wigglesworth, a self-proclaimed expert in “senior shenanigans.” “But we’ve seen some wild side effects. Last week, my Aunt Edna got the shot and suddenly started doing the cha-cha in the middle of the grocery store. I mean, who knew she had it in her?”
The FDA’s warning comes after a series of reports from seniors who experienced unexpected side effects post-vaccination. “I thought I was just getting a flu shot,” said 78-year-old Gladys “Groovy” Thompson. “Next thing I know, I’m doing the worm at my grandson’s birthday party. I haven’t done the worm since 1975!”
In a related story, local senior centers are now offering “Vaccine Dance-Offs” as a new form of exercise. “We’re just trying to keep up with the times,” said center director Bob “The Boogie” Johnson. “If they’re going to dance, we might as well make it a competition!”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the only thing more contagious than the flu is the urge to bust a move. So, seniors, if you’re considering the vaccine, just remember: you might not just be protecting yourself from illness, you could also be unleashing your inner disco diva. And who knows? You might just win a dance-off against your neighbor, Mr. Jenkins, who still thinks the Macarena is a new dance craze.
