**FBI Investigates COVID-19 Origin ‘Cover-Up’ as New Strain Emerges: Bongino**
In a shocking twist that has left conspiracy theorists and armchair detectives alike scratching their heads, the FBI has launched an investigation into the origins of COVID-19, claiming there may be a “cover-up” involving a new strain that has emerged. This new strain, dubbed “COVID-19: The Sequel,” is said to be more contagious than a cat video on the internet and twice as confusing as your uncle’s political rants at Thanksgiving.
Dan Bongino, the self-proclaimed “COVID-19 Whisperer,” took to his podcast to share his thoughts on the matter. “I always knew there was something fishy about the virus,” he said, while simultaneously trying to sell his new line of “Bongino’s Bacteria Busters” hand sanitizer. “I mean, who else would name a virus after a beer? It’s like they wanted us to drink our way through a pandemic!”
Meanwhile, sources close to the investigation revealed that the FBI is looking into a secret lab in a basement somewhere in Ohio, where a group of rogue scientists allegedly experimented with a combination of bat DNA and leftover pizza. “We were just trying to create the ultimate snack,” said Dr. Pepperoni, the lead scientist, “but then things got out of hand. Now we have a virus that makes you crave pineapple on pizza!”
As the investigation unfolds, the public is left wondering: will this new strain lead to more lockdowns, or will it simply result in a nationwide shortage of toilet paper and hand sanitizer? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: if there’s a cover-up, it’s probably being orchestrated by the same people who thought it was a good idea to put raisins in cookies.
Stay tuned for more updates as the FBI continues to unravel this deliciously absurd mystery!
