**Expert Witness in Karen Read Murder Trial Found to Have Inflated Credentials: Claims to Have “PhD in Common Sense”**
In a shocking twist that could only happen in a courtroom drama, the expert witness in the Karen Read murder trial has been exposed for inflating his credentials. Dr. Phil McCracken, who claimed to have a PhD in Forensic Science from the prestigious University of Google, was found to have a resume that reads more like a bad Tinder profile than a legitimate academic background.
Court documents reveal that Dr. McCracken’s qualifications included a “Master’s in Couch Potato Studies” and a “Bachelor’s in Netflix Binge-Watching.” When asked about his expertise, he confidently stated, “I’ve watched every episode of *CSI* and *Law & Order*. I even have a certificate from the School of Hard Knocks, which is basically the same as a law degree, right?”
The trial took a turn for the absurd when Dr. McCracken attempted to explain the intricacies of blood spatter analysis using a ketchup bottle and a slice of bread. “It’s all about the angle,” he said, while the jury collectively wondered if they had accidentally wandered into a cooking show.
Karen Read’s defense attorney, Chuck “The Shark” Finnegan, was quick to capitalize on the blunder. “If I wanted a witness with inflated credentials, I would have just called my Aunt Edna, who claims she can predict the weather based on her arthritis,” he quipped.
As the courtroom erupted in laughter, the judge banged his gavel and declared, “This is a murder trial, not a comedy club! But I must admit, this is the most entertaining thing I’ve seen since my last family reunion.”
In the end, Dr. McCracken was dismissed from the case, but not before he offered to conduct a seminar on “How to Fake Your Way Through Life.” Tickets are already selling fast, with one enthusiastic attendee stating, “I can’t wait to learn how to inflate my own credentials! I’ve always wanted to be a ‘life coach’ without actually having to coach anyone.”
As the trial continues, one thing is clear: in the world of expert witnesses, it’s not just about what you know, but how well you can fake it.
