**Ex-Seton Hall Pitcher Reveals Sexual Hazing and Injuries, Accuses Coach of Inaction: “I Thought It Was Just a Really Intense Team-Building Exercise!”**
In a shocking revelation that has left the sports world reeling, former Seton Hall pitcher, Johnny “Fastball” McGee, has come forward with allegations of sexual hazing and injuries that would make even the most hardened baseball fan cringe. McGee claims that instead of the usual “Welcome to the Team” initiation, he was subjected to a bizarre series of events that included mandatory interpretive dance sessions and a “Trust Fall” exercise that involved a very confused raccoon.
“I thought it was just a really intense team-building exercise,” McGee said, still wearing his old team jersey, which he claims is now “haunted” by the spirit of his former coach, Coach Bob “The Baffler” Bafferton. “I mean, who knew that ‘The Raccoon Shuffle’ was a euphemism for something much worse?”
According to McGee, the hazing rituals escalated quickly. “One time, they made me wear a tutu while pitching. I threw a perfect game, but I also threw my dignity out the window,” he lamented. “And don’t even get me started on the ‘Hot Sauce Challenge’—let’s just say my digestive system is still in recovery.”
In a stunning twist, McGee claims that Coach Bafferton was aware of the hazing but chose to ignore it, allegedly saying, “Boys will be boys! And boys love raccoons!” This has led to a wave of outrage from parents, who are now demanding that their children be allowed to play baseball in a safe, raccoon-free environment.
In response to the allegations, Coach Bafferton released a statement that read, “I thought we were just building character! Besides, have you ever seen a raccoon juggle? It’s a real crowd-pleaser!”
As the scandal unfolds, McGee is now advocating for a new initiative: “Raccoon-Free Sports.” He hopes to raise awareness and ensure that no other athlete has to endure the trauma of being hazed by a furry creature. “If I can save just one pitcher from wearing a tutu, then my work here is done,” he declared, striking a pose that would make any Broadway star proud.
Stay tuned as this story develops—because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that the world of college sports is never short on drama, raccoons, or questionable fashion choices!
