**Ex-Federal Tech Employees File Retaliation Claim Against Panel Led by Trump-Fired Chairwoman: A Comedy of Errors**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a team of caffeinated monkeys, a group of ex-federal tech employees has filed a retaliation claim against a panel led by none other than the Trump-fired chairwoman, Marge “The Algorithm” McFumble. The claim alleges that their former boss, who was let go for “excessive use of exclamation points in emails,” has been haunting their dreams like a bad Wi-Fi connection.
“Every time I close my eyes, I see her yelling, ‘You’re fired!’ in Comic Sans,” lamented former employee Tim “The Tech Whisperer” Johnson. “It’s terrifying! I can’t even update my LinkedIn without breaking into a cold sweat!”
The panel, which was originally formed to discuss the future of federal technology, has instead devolved into a circus of accusations and bizarre claims. “I thought we were here to innovate, not to relive the horror of 2016,” said panel member and self-proclaimed tech guru, Dr. Pixel McNerdface. “I mean, I’ve seen less drama in a reality show about competitive knitting!”
Marge McFumble, who has since taken to hosting a podcast titled “Fired and Fabulous,” responded to the claims with a statement that can only be described as a masterpiece of confusion. “I’m not sure what they’re complaining about. I only used the word ‘retaliation’ in the context of my new line of self-defense keychains,” she said, while simultaneously trying to sell her “Fired and Fabulous” merchandise on Instagram Live.
As the saga unfolds, one thing is clear: the only thing more tangled than federal tech policy is the web of grievances these employees have spun. “If this doesn’t end in a reality show, I’ll be very disappointed,” said former employee Sarah “The Spreadsheet Sorceress” Thompson. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch a bunch of ex-feds argue over who gets the last slice of pizza in a conference room?”
Stay tuned as this story develops, because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that in the world of federal tech, the only thing more unpredictable than the Wi-Fi is the drama!
