**Ex-DC Educator Arrested for Child Pornography Solicitation: DOJ Charges**
In a shocking twist that even the most seasoned soap opera writers would find hard to believe, a former DC educator has been arrested for allegedly soliciting child pornography. The Department of Justice (DOJ) announced the charges against 45-year-old Timothy “Teach Me” Thompson, who was last seen trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem to a group of bewildered squirrels in his backyard.
According to sources, Thompson was caught red-handed after he mistakenly sent a text meant for his “book club” to the local PTA group. “I thought I was just sharing some ‘educational materials,’” Thompson reportedly told authorities while wearing a t-shirt that read, “I’m not a perv, I’m just misunderstood.”
The DOJ’s press release included a quote from an anonymous neighbor, who said, “I always knew something was off. He once tried to teach my dog how to read. I thought it was just a quirky hobby!”
In a bizarre twist, Thompson’s defense attorney, Sally “Not That Sally” Johnson, claimed that her client was merely “conducting a social experiment on the effects of inappropriate content on children’s education.” When asked for further details, she added, “I mean, who hasn’t accidentally sent a few questionable texts? I once texted my grandma a meme about avocado toast instead of the recipe for her famous meatloaf!”
As the investigation unfolds, Thompson remains behind bars, where he is reportedly trying to start a new educational initiative called “Behind Bars Basics.” When asked for comment, he simply said, “I’m just trying to teach the world one bad decision at a time.”
Stay tuned for updates on this developing story, and remember folks, always double-check your recipients before hitting send—especially if you’re an educator!
