**Ericsson and Kirkwood Penalized to Rear for Unapproved Car Modifications After Indy 500 Finish**
In a shocking turn of events following the Indy 500, drivers Marcus Ericsson and Kyle Kirkwood have been penalized to the rear of the grid for what officials are calling “unapproved car modifications.” The modifications in question? A pair of oversized fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror and a suspiciously large spoiler that looks suspiciously like a pizza box.
“I thought it would give me extra downforce,” said Ericsson, who was seen trying to explain his aerodynamic pizza strategy to a bewildered race official. “I mean, who doesn’t want a slice of victory?”
Kirkwood, on the other hand, was caught red-handed with a neon underglow that he claimed was “just for style.” “I wanted to make my car look like a disco ball,” he said, “because who doesn’t love a good party? Plus, I heard it attracts more fans!”
Race officials were not amused. “We have rules for a reason,” said Chief Steward Bob “The Rulebook” Johnson. “If we let them get away with this, next thing you know, we’ll have drivers showing up in go-karts with jet engines!”
In a bizarre twist, both drivers have vowed to appeal the decision by claiming they were merely “expressing their individuality.” Kirkwood even suggested that the fuzzy dice were a tribute to his late grandmother, who “always said I should take risks—just not in a race car.”
As the dust settles on this high-speed debacle, fans are left wondering: will the next Indy 500 feature a “Best Dressed Car” award? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure—Ericsson and Kirkwood are now the proud owners of the most colorful penalty in racing history.
