**Edmonton Heads to Dallas for Round Three Kickoff: A Journey of Epic Proportions and Unlikely Snacks**
In a move that has left sports analysts scratching their heads and local squirrels rolling their eyes, the Edmonton Oilers have packed their bags and headed to Dallas for the highly anticipated Round Three Kickoff. Fans are buzzing with excitement, while the Dallas tourism board is reportedly preparing for an influx of confused Canadians looking for the nearest Tim Hortons.
“I can’t believe we’re actually going to Texas,” said Oilers fan and self-proclaimed “Hockey Guru” Bob “The Iceberg” McFlurry. “I thought we were just going to a really big ice rink. Turns out, it’s just a giant oven with a lot of cowboys.”
The Oilers’ strategy for the series is as clear as a Texas sky: “We’re going to outscore them, outskate them, and if all else fails, we’ll just challenge them to a barbecue cook-off,” said head coach Jay Woodcroft, who is currently perfecting his brisket recipe. “I hear they have some secret sauce down there. We’ll just have to bring our own maple syrup.”
Meanwhile, Dallas fans are preparing for the onslaught of Edmonton supporters by stocking up on “anti-Canadian” supplies, including poutine-proof helmets and an emergency stash of ranch dressing. “We’re ready for anything,” said local fan and part-time armadillo wrangler, Chuck “The Texan Tornado” McGraw. “If they think they can come down here and take our hockey, they’ve got another thing coming. We’ll just distract them with our superior BBQ and line dancing skills.”
As the Oilers gear up for what promises to be a thrilling series, one thing is for sure: whether they win or lose, Edmonton will leave Dallas with a newfound appreciation for cowboy hats, and possibly a few extra pounds from all that brisket.
In the words of Oilers captain Connor McDavid, “We’re just here for the hockey… and maybe a side of ribs.”
