**Easton Carmichael’s Two Homers Propel Oklahoma to 17-1 Victory Over Huskers in Regional Final: A Tale of Epic Proportions**
In a game that can only be described as a baseball version of a toddler throwing a tantrum in a candy store, Easton Carmichael launched two home runs, leading the Oklahoma Sooners to a staggering 17-1 victory over the Nebraska Cornhuskers in the regional final. The game was so one-sided that even the scoreboard seemed to be embarrassed, displaying a “Please, no more” message in Morse code.
Carmichael, who is rumored to have been fueled by a breakfast of pure adrenaline and three energy drinks, stated, “I just wanted to hit the ball so hard that it would land in the next county. I think I succeeded, but I’m still waiting for my Uber to pick me up from Kansas.” His first homer was so impressive that it reportedly knocked a squirrel off a tree branch, which later filed a lawsuit for emotional distress.
Meanwhile, Nebraska’s coach, Bob “I Thought We Were Playing T-Ball” Thompson, lamented, “We came into this game thinking we could at least make it competitive. But after the first inning, I realized I should have brought my knitting instead.”
The Cornhuskers’ lone run came when a rogue seagull swooped in and stole the ball from Oklahoma’s pitcher, leading to a bizarre series of events that left fans questioning whether they were watching baseball or a nature documentary.
As the game concluded, Oklahoma fans celebrated by launching Carmichael into the air, chanting, “He’s our hero! He’s our hero!” while Nebraska fans quietly Googled “How to play baseball with dignity.”
In the end, the Sooners not only secured their spot in the next round but also left the Huskers wondering if they should consider a career in competitive knitting instead.
