**DOJ Investigates Blue State City for Alleged Racial Discrimination in Hiring Practices: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking twist that has left the nation both bewildered and chuckling, the Department of Justice (DOJ) has launched an investigation into the hiring practices of Blueville, a city so progressive that even their recycling bins have pronouns. The allegations? Racial discrimination in hiring—an accusation that has left the city council scratching their heads and Googling “What is a ‘diversity hire?’”
Mayor Sunshine McRainbow, who once claimed to have hired a raccoon as the city’s Chief of Trash Management, responded to the investigation with a statement that can only be described as “confusingly optimistic.” “We’re committed to diversity! We even have a cat in our office who identifies as a dog!” McRainbow exclaimed, while petting a bewildered tabby named Fluffy. “If anything, we’re too inclusive! I mean, we even hired a mime last year. How much more diverse can you get?”
Local resident and self-proclaimed “Diversity Expert” Chuck “The Diversity Guy” Johnson chimed in, “I’ve seen more diversity at a vegan potluck than in Blueville’s hiring practices. I mean, they hired a guy named ‘Dave’—who even is that?”
The DOJ’s investigation reportedly began after a whistleblower, who wished to remain anonymous but was definitely not a disgruntled former intern, claimed that the city’s hiring practices were as outdated as dial-up internet. “I applied for a job as a ‘Chief Happiness Officer’ and was told I didn’t have enough ‘joyful experience,’” the whistleblower lamented. “I mean, I’ve binge-watched every season of ‘The Office’—that’s practically a PhD in workplace happiness!”
As the investigation unfolds, Blueville residents are left wondering if they’ll ever see a racially diverse hiring committee or if they’ll just continue to hire people who can recite the entire script of “Hamilton” from memory. One thing is for sure: if the DOJ needs a laugh, they can always count on Blueville to deliver.
