**DHS Issues Warning Following Disruption by Anti-ICE Protesters: “We’re Just Trying to Get Our Coffee!”**
In a shocking turn of events, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has issued a warning following a recent disruption caused by anti-ICE protesters who, in a bold move, decided to stage a sit-in at a local Starbucks. The protest, which was meant to raise awareness about immigration issues, quickly devolved into a heated debate over the merits of oat milk versus almond milk.
“We were just trying to enjoy our lattes when suddenly, we were surrounded by people chanting about ICE,” said local coffee enthusiast and unwitting protester, Bob “Caffeine” McBrewster. “I mean, I get it, but can’t we just agree that soy milk is the real enemy here?”
The DHS, clearly shaken by the latte-laden chaos, released a statement warning citizens to avoid any coffee shops that might be hosting “unruly gatherings.” “We take these disruptions very seriously,” said DHS spokesperson, Karen “No More Foam” McFroth. “We’re just trying to get our coffee without being bombarded by political slogans. It’s hard enough to get a decent cappuccino without someone yelling about immigration reform.”
Meanwhile, the protesters, led by self-proclaimed activist and part-time barista, “Latte” L. Bean, defended their actions. “We just wanted to raise awareness! And also, we really wanted to try the new pumpkin spice oat milk,” Bean declared, while holding a sign that read, “No ICE, Just Spice!”
As the dust settles (or rather, the foam dissipates), the DHS is urging citizens to stay vigilant. “If you see a group of people holding signs and sipping lattes, please report it immediately,” McFroth advised. “We can’t have our coffee shops turning into political battlegrounds. Next thing you know, they’ll be serving kombucha and discussing universal basic income!”
In the end, the only thing that was truly disrupted was the flow of caffeine, leaving many to wonder: can we really have a peaceful protest without a side of avocado toast?
