**Democrats Bash Justice Clarence Thomas, But Their Plan to Investigate Ethics Allegations is as Clear as Muddy Water**
In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Democrats have launched a full-scale assault on Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. The allegations? Well, they’re as murky as a swamp in a rainstorm, but that hasn’t stopped the party from sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches.
Senator Chuck Schumer, in a press conference that was more circus than serious, declared, “We’re going to investigate Clarence Thomas like he’s a contestant on a reality show! We’ll dig up dirt, we’ll throw shade, and if we have to, we’ll even hire a psychic to read his aura!” When asked about the specifics of the investigation, Schumer added, “Details? Who needs details? We’re Democrats! We thrive on vague outrage!”
Meanwhile, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was spotted in a backroom meeting with a group of strategists, all of whom were frantically Googling “How to Investigate a Supreme Court Justice Without a Plan.” One aide was overheard saying, “I thought we were just going to wing it! Isn’t that how we do everything?”
As the Democrats scramble to find a coherent strategy, Justice Thomas remains unfazed. “I’m just here trying to interpret the Constitution,” he said, “but if they want to investigate my ethics, I hope they bring snacks. I hear investigations can be long and boring.”
In the end, it seems the Democrats’ plan is as clear as a foggy day in San Francisco. But one thing is for sure: the circus is in town, and everyone’s got a front-row seat. So grab your popcorn, folks! This is going to be one wild ride!
