**Delaware Enacts Assisted Suicide Law, Becomes the 11th State to Do So: “Finally, a Way to Escape My In-Laws!”**
In a groundbreaking move that has left the nation both amused and slightly confused, Delaware has officially enacted an assisted suicide law, becoming the 11th state to do so. The law, which was passed unanimously by a group of lawmakers who were clearly tired of their own life choices, aims to provide a dignified exit for those who feel that life has become just a tad too unbearable—like a never-ending episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
Governor John “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Carney was quoted saying, “This law is a win-win! It gives people a choice and gives me a break from all those awkward family dinners. I mean, have you met my Aunt Edna? She thinks ‘Netflix and chill’ is a new type of ice cream!”
The law allows individuals with terminal illnesses to choose assisted suicide, but it also includes a special clause for those suffering from chronic boredom. “We figured if someone is stuck in a never-ending Zoom meeting, they should have options,” said State Senator Linda “I’d Rather Be Napping” Thompson. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to escape a PowerPoint presentation on the history of staplers?”
Local resident Bob “I Just Want to Watch My Shows in Peace” Jenkins expressed his relief, stating, “Finally! I can now opt out of family game night without feeling guilty. I mean, have you ever played Monopoly with my sister? It’s like a scene from ‘Survivor.’”
As Delaware joins the ranks of states offering this controversial option, many are left wondering if they should start preparing their exit strategies or just invest in a good pair of noise-canceling headphones. Either way, one thing is for sure: Delaware is officially the place to be if you’re looking for a way out—preferably before dessert.
