**Deion Sanders Issues Hilarious Reminder to Colorado Team During Holiday Celebrations: “No Eggnog Until You Win!”**
In a move that has left the sports world both amused and bewildered, Colorado Buffaloes head coach Deion Sanders issued a holiday memo to his team reminding them that “no eggnog until you win!” The memo, which was leaked to the press by an anonymous source who may or may not have been a disgruntled assistant coach, has sparked a flurry of laughter and confusion among players and fans alike.
“Listen, I love the holidays as much as the next guy,” Sanders said in a press conference, sporting a Santa hat and sunglasses. “But if you think you’re going to sip on that creamy, spiced goodness without earning it, you’ve got another thing coming! We’re not here to celebrate mediocrity!”
Players were reportedly taken aback by the memo. Star quarterback, Chuck “The Eggnog Bandit” Johnson, responded, “I thought we were just going to have a nice holiday party! Now I have to win a game just to enjoy some festive drinks? What’s next, no Christmas cookies until we beat USC?”
In a bizarre twist, Sanders also included a list of holiday activities that players could partake in while they wait for their first victory. “You can decorate the locker room, but if I see any ornaments that aren’t in the shape of a football, you’re running laps!” he warned.
Meanwhile, team nutritionist, Dr. Betty “No Sugar for You” Thompson, chimed in, “I’m just glad he didn’t ban fruitcake. That stuff is a crime against humanity!”
As the holiday season approaches, the Buffaloes are left with a tough decision: win a game or risk a dry, eggnog-less holiday. One thing is for sure—if they don’t start racking up some wins soon, they might just find themselves celebrating New Year’s with nothing but kale smoothies and regret.
