**Defense Department Workers Exempt from Weekly DOGE Production Reports: A New Era of National Security?**
In a groundbreaking move that has left economists scratching their heads and meme enthusiasts rejoicing, the U.S. Defense Department has announced that its workers will be exempt from the weekly DOGE (Dogecoin) production reports. This decision comes as part of a new initiative to “streamline operations” and “focus on the real threats to national security,” which apparently now include the volatility of cryptocurrency.
“Let’s be honest,” said Deputy Secretary of Defense, Chuck “Crypto” McMuffin, during a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable Shiba Inu. “The only thing more unpredictable than a rogue nation is the price of DOGE. We can’t have our defense workers distracted by weekly reports when they could be busy scrolling through TikTok for the latest dance trends.”
Sources close to the Pentagon revealed that the decision was influenced by a top-secret study conducted by the Department of Memeology, which concluded that “the less our workers know about DOGE, the more they can focus on important things, like ensuring our nuclear arsenal is safe from rogue Redditors.”
In a shocking twist, the Defense Department has also announced plans to replace traditional military drills with “Doge-a-thons,” where soldiers will compete in meme-making contests to boost morale. “Nothing says ‘I’m ready to defend my country’ like a well-timed Doge meme,” said Private First Class Karen “DogeMaster” Jenkins, who is currently leading the charge with her viral “To the Moon” TikTok series.
Critics, however, are not amused. “This is a slippery slope,” warned economist Dr. Penny Wise. “Next thing you know, they’ll be using DOGE to fund military operations. I can already see it: ‘Operation Doge Drop’—where we airdrop Shiba Inu coins over enemy territories!”
As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: the Defense Department is taking a bold step into the future, where national security and cryptocurrency collide in a whirlwind of memes, laughter, and perhaps a little confusion. After all, who needs weekly reports when you can have weekly Doge-a-thons?
