**D-backs Manager Seeks Wisdom from 92-Year-Old Mom During Team Struggles**
In a move that has left sports analysts scratching their heads and fans rolling on the floor, Arizona Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo has turned to an unexpected source for guidance during the team’s recent struggles: his 92-year-old mother, Edna Lovullo. Sources say that after a particularly disheartening loss to the San Diego Padres, Lovullo dialed up his mom, who was busy knitting a sweater for her cat, Mr. Whiskers.
“Mom, I need your wisdom,” Lovullo reportedly said, his voice cracking like a 12-year-old boy at a school dance. “The team is playing like they’ve been hitting the piñata instead of the baseball.”
Edna, who has been known to give life advice that rivals that of any motivational speaker, responded with her signature blend of sass and wisdom. “Torey, honey, just tell them to swing like they’re trying to hit the last piece of pie at Thanksgiving. And if that doesn’t work, maybe try bribing them with cookies.”
Lovullo took her advice to heart and promptly ordered a dozen chocolate chip cookies for the next team meeting. “If cookies can’t motivate them, I don’t know what will,” he said, while secretly hoping that the players wouldn’t eat them all before the game.
In a bizarre twist, Lovullo also revealed that Edna suggested he start using a “magic eight ball” to make game-time decisions. “She said it worked wonders for her bingo nights,” he explained. “And honestly, it can’t be worse than our current batting average.”
As the D-backs prepare for their next game, fans are left wondering if Edna’s wisdom will turn the tide. “If they lose again, I’m sending her a box of my famous lasagna,” Lovullo quipped. “Maybe she can whip up some magic in the kitchen instead.”
For now, the D-backs are hoping that a sprinkle of grandma’s wisdom and a dash of cookie power will lead them to victory. After all, if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Edna Lovullo, it’s that sometimes the best strategy is just to keep it sweet.
