**Court Rules Man Charged with Stalking Jennifer Aniston is Unfit for Trial: Experts Say He’s Just “Really, Really Enthusiastic”**
In a landmark decision that has left legal experts scratching their heads and the general public rolling on the floor, a court has ruled that a man charged with stalking the beloved actress Jennifer Aniston is unfit for trial. The defendant, 34-year-old Chad “The One with the Obsession” McGee, reportedly believed he was “just one heartfelt letter away” from winning Aniston’s heart.
Judge Judy “Not That One” McAllister stated, “Mr. McGee’s defense team argued that he was simply misunderstood. I mean, who hasn’t sent 1,200 emails and 300 carrier pigeons to their favorite celebrity? It’s practically a rite of passage!”
McGee’s attorney, a self-proclaimed “celebrity whisperer” named Barry “I Swear I’m Not a Stalker” Thompson, argued that his client was merely “enthusiastic about love.” He added, “Chad thought he was auditioning for a rom-com. He even bought a bouquet of roses and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Jennifer. What’s the harm in that?”
Witnesses reported that McGee was often seen outside Aniston’s house, holding a boombox over his head while blasting “I Will Always Love You.” “He was just trying to recreate that iconic scene from *Say Anything*,” said neighbor Linda “I’m Not a Snitch” Johnson. “But instead of romance, it was more like a really awkward episode of *Friends*.”
The court has mandated that McGee undergo a series of “celebrity etiquette” classes, where he will learn the difference between admiration and restraining orders. “We’re hoping he’ll graduate with honors,” said Judge McAllister. “And maybe even get a date with a nice girl who isn’t a famous actress.”
As for Aniston, she has reportedly taken up a new hobby: knitting. “I’m just trying to make a cozy blanket to hide under,” she quipped. “And maybe a sweater for Chad. He seems cold… and a little unhinged.”
In the end, the court’s decision has sparked a national debate: Is it stalking if you’re just really, really enthusiastic? Only time will tell, but for now, McGee is free to roam—just not too close to Hollywood.
