**Connecticut Sub Designers Reach Contract Agreement with Electric Boat, Averting Strike: A Deep Dive into the Abyss of Negotiation**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the world of submarine design gasping for air, Connecticut’s sub designers have reached a contract agreement with Electric Boat, successfully averting a strike that could have sent shockwaves through the ocean floor. The deal, which was sealed over a game of underwater charades, promises to keep the submarines afloat and the designers caffeinated.
“We were on the brink of a strike,” said lead designer and part-time mermaid enthusiast, Bob “Nautical Nonsense” Johnson. “But then we realized that without our jobs, we’d have to start designing boats for hipster coffee shops. Nobody wants that.”
The negotiations reportedly included heated discussions over the number of coffee breaks allowed during the design process. “We wanted at least three breaks per hour,” said union representative and self-proclaimed ‘Submarine Whisperer,’ Sally “Depth Charge” Thompson. “But Electric Boat countered with a measly two. It was a classic case of ‘you can’t sink my battleship!’”
In a surprising twist, Electric Boat’s CEO, Captain Nemo III, stated, “We’re thrilled to have avoided a strike. The last thing we need is a bunch of disgruntled designers plotting to build a submarine that only goes in circles. That would be a real ‘sub-par’ situation!”
As part of the agreement, designers will receive a 5% raise and an unlimited supply of seaweed snacks, which they claim are essential for “creative inspiration.” “I can’t design a submarine without my seaweed chips,” said Thompson, munching on a handful. “It’s like trying to build a sandcastle without sand!”
With the contract signed and the threat of a strike behind them, Connecticut’s sub designers can now return to their underwater lairs, where they will continue to create the most advanced submarines known to mankind—while secretly plotting their next coffee break.
