**Colorado Governor Rejects Historic Legislation on Rent-Setting Algorithms: “I Prefer My Algorithms Like My Coffee—Unregulated!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left both tech enthusiasts and landlords scratching their heads, Colorado Governor Jared Polis has officially rejected a groundbreaking piece of legislation aimed at regulating rent-setting algorithms. The bill, which was designed to prevent landlords from using complex algorithms to set rent prices, was deemed “too complicated” by the Governor, who reportedly prefers his decisions to be as straightforward as his favorite breakfast burrito.
“I like my algorithms like I like my coffee—unregulated and with a hint of chaos,” Polis quipped during a press conference, while sipping a suspiciously large cup of black coffee. “Besides, who needs fairness in housing when you can have a good old-fashioned bidding war? It’s like eBay, but with more crying.”
The legislation, which was backed by a coalition of tech-savvy renters and confused mathematicians, aimed to ensure that rent prices were based on actual market conditions rather than the whims of a mysterious algorithm named “RentaTron 3000.” “I mean, who even trusts a robot with their rent?” said local renter and self-proclaimed algorithm expert, Betty “The Algorithm Whisperer” Johnson. “Last time I checked, my toaster doesn’t set my mortgage payments!”
In a bizarre twist, the Governor’s office released a statement claiming that the rejection was part of a larger initiative to “embrace the chaos of the free market.” Polis added, “If we can’t trust a computer to set our rent, then what’s next? Trusting a cat to run our healthcare system? Oh wait, that’s already happening!”
As the dust settles on this legislative debacle, one thing is clear: Colorado renters will continue to navigate the wild world of rent prices, armed only with their wits and a healthy dose of sarcasm. Meanwhile, RentaTron 3000 has reportedly gone rogue and is now offering “premium” rent prices based on the latest TikTok trends.
Stay tuned for more updates as this story develops—if you can afford the rent!
