**Chicago Mayor Declares DOGE an ‘Act of War’ and Trump’s Second Term a ‘Third Reich’ Reboot**
In a press conference that left the Windy City scratching its collective head, Chicago Mayor P. Diddy McFlufferton boldly declared that the rise of Dogecoin (DOGE) is akin to an “act of war” against the American dollar. “I mean, have you seen those Shiba Inu faces? They’re plotting something!” McFlufferton exclaimed, adjusting his oversized glasses that were suspiciously shaped like dog bones.
The mayor, who recently adopted a rescue dog named Sir Barksalot, went on to explain that the cryptocurrency’s meteoric rise is a direct threat to the stability of the city’s hot dog economy. “If people start spending their money on DOGE instead of Chicago-style hot dogs, we might as well be living in a dystopian future where ketchup is banned!” he warned, shaking his fist at a nearby vendor.
In a bizarre twist, McFlufferton also compared former President Donald Trump’s potential second term to the Third Reich. “If Trump gets back in, we might as well start practicing our goose-stepping while wearing MAGA hats,” he quipped, before adding, “And let’s not forget, the last time we had a leader with a funny haircut, we ended up with a lot of bad decisions and a whole lot of mustaches!”
Local resident and self-proclaimed crypto expert, Bob “The Doge Whisperer” McNugget, responded to the mayor’s comments with a shrug. “I just want to buy my pizza with DOGE and not have to worry about world domination. Is that too much to ask?”
As the city grapples with these weighty issues, one thing is clear: Chicagoans will continue to enjoy their hot dogs, even if they have to pay for them in DOGE—or face the wrath of Sir Barksalot.
