**CDC Revises Guidance on COVID Vaccination for Healthy Children and Pregnant Women: Experts Recommend “Just Wing It” Approach**
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left parents scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists high-fiving in the streets, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has officially revised its guidance on COVID vaccination for healthy children and pregnant women. The new motto? “Just Wing It!”
Dr. Ima Quack, a self-proclaimed expert in “alternative epidemiology,” stated, “We realized that the best way to handle this pandemic is to embrace the chaos. Why not let kids decide if they want a vaccine based on their favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate chip mint is a solid choice!”
The CDC’s new guidelines suggest that healthy children should be allowed to choose between a COVID vaccine, a lollipop, or a game of hopscotch. “We believe in empowering our youth,” said Dr. Quack. “If they can’t decide between a vaccine and a game of tag, then clearly they’re not ready for the responsibility of adulthood!”
Meanwhile, pregnant women are encouraged to consult their unborn children before making any vaccination decisions. “If the baby kicks when you mention the vaccine, it’s a no-go,” advised Dr. B. Womb, a leading obstetrician and part-time fortune teller. “But if they start doing the cha-cha, it’s a green light!”
Parents across the nation are responding with a mix of confusion and excitement. “I always wanted my kids to have a say in their health decisions,” said local mom, Karen “I’m Not a Karen” Smith. “But I didn’t think it would involve a dance-off!”
As the CDC continues to roll out its new guidance, one thing is clear: the only thing more unpredictable than the pandemic is the advice coming from the experts. So grab your lollipops, consult your unborn children, and remember—when in doubt, just wing it!
