World News

World’s First Time Machine Invented—Still Can’t Get Your Latte Right on Time

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China Releases Statement Confirming They Are Also Over The Whole Pandemic Thing

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Ghosts in Haunted Houses Now Demanding Wi-Fi Access

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EU Announces New Plan to Fix Everything by 2070

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The Great Sock Conspiracy: Are Your Feet in on It?

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Pope Announces New Vatican App: ‘Confession in 140 Characters or Less’

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Elon Musk Launches Mars Mission, Immediately Offers ‘Free Wi-Fi’ to Martians

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Not 72 Hours On Strike, North Pole Records First Lost Time Accident

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China Celebrates Record Economic Growth While Handing Out Free Jobs to Robots

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Saudi Arabia to Launch New ‘Progressive Reforms,’ Including Allowing Citizens to Blink Twice for Freedom

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U.N. Declares New Global Crisis: Lack of Consensus on How to Solve Anything

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Russia and Ukraine Agree on Peace Talks: 3-Way Boxing Match Between Jake Paul, Vladimir Putin, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy To Be Streamed Live on Netflix

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