**California Track Star Disqualified from State Championships for Overzealous Celebration**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the sports world reeling, California high school track star, Billy “The Bolt” Thompson, was disqualified from the state championships after what officials are calling an “excessive celebration.” The incident occurred last Saturday when Thompson crossed the finish line, not just victorious, but also performing a full interpretive dance routine that would make even the most seasoned Broadway star envious.
Witnesses report that Thompson, who had just shattered the state record in the 100-meter dash, immediately launched into a series of cartwheels, backflips, and what can only be described as a “victory worm.” “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said fellow competitor and self-proclaimed dance critic, Sarah “Two Left Feet” Johnson. “I thought I was at the Oscars, not a track meet!”
However, the celebration took a turn for the worse when Thompson accidentally knocked over the official timekeeper, Mr. Bob “I’m Just Here for the Snacks” Jenkins, who was busy munching on a hot dog. Jenkins, who later claimed he was “just trying to enjoy a meal in peace,” fell into a nearby inflatable bounce house, which had been set up for the post-race festivities.
“I was just trying to bring some flair to the sport,” Thompson said in a press conference, still wearing his gold medal. “I mean, who doesn’t love a good worm? It’s like the cha-cha of track and field!”
In a statement that has since gone viral, the California State Athletic Association declared, “While we appreciate enthusiasm, we cannot condone celebrations that resemble a scene from a circus.” They also added, “We’re still trying to figure out how to get the hot dog stains out of the bounce house.”
Thompson’s coach, Linda “The Drill Sergeant” Martinez, expressed her disappointment. “We train for years to get to this point, and then he goes and turns it into a circus act. I told him to run like the wind, not dance like a peacock!”
As for Thompson, he remains undeterred. “I’m just going to keep running and dancing. Next time, I’ll just make sure to keep my celebrations to a minimum… or at least avoid any hot dog stands!”
In the meantime, the state is considering implementing a new rule: “No backflips, no worming, and definitely no hot dogs on the track.”
